So recently I was reading an article that just really shocked me. Hate groups like the American Family Association, Focus on The Family, Family Research Council (I’m seeing a theme here… Don’t let the names fool you. There’s nothing “family” oriented about these people.), still propagate the myth that being gay is a choice, that children are somehow recruited to be gay, and that sexual orientation can be changed. As ludicrous as all that sounds there are still people out there who honestly believe this nonsense. What’s worse these people have the audacity to try and tell me that I don’t know what I am talking about even though I am the one who has lived my life and these are my feelings.
Let’s just clear the air here. First and foremost, at no point in my childhood was I ever “recruited” or “indoctrinated” into any “lifestyle”. I didn’t even have a proper definition of “homosexual” till I came out. Here’s a little story. When I was growing up I was pretty sheltered. I didn’t really encounter the words “gay” or “homosexual” until I was in my teens and even then my understanding of the words was so vague I didn’t really think they applied to me. I was under the impression that a homosexual was a guy that wanted to be a girl and I knew that wasn’t me. I was, and still am, quite happy being male thank you very much. I remember though that I never really had a physical or emotional attraction to girls. In fact I liked some of the same things they did… which ended up including boys when I was around 14-15.
There were people in my family that knew I was gay before I did. My mom, my god mother, some family friends… Of course no one said anything till I came out. Does that sound like “indoctrination” or “recruitment” to you? These hate groups would have society believe that “because homosexuals cannot reproduce they must recruit to swell their ranks” like we’re some sort of military group or something. They refuse to even entertain the idea that sexual orientation is biologically determined because that basic truth completely pulls the foundation for their hate out from under them. Not that it’s a solid foundation to begin with. I mean just because I am different than you that means you have the right to make my life miserable? To waste time and money working to ensure I am not treated equally by the law and society? Yea that’s some “family values” right there. Instead of spending that manpower and money on feeding the hungry, helping the homeless and ensuring people who need medical care have it, they instead use those resources to make sure I can’t get married, that bullies can continue to make the lives of folks like me so miserable we contemplate suicide. You know it’s funny… these same people are anti-abortion, but they feel no complicity in the suicide of the very children they fought to save at birth once it turns out they are gay. Personally I feel every single one of these people is a murderer and has the blood of every gay teen who has ever committed suicide on their hands. If not for their continuous barrage of lies, propaganda and bigotry those kids wouldn’t have felt so without hope that they had no way out but to kill themselves.
The whole notion that gay people are “recruited” is a joke. Recruited how? I didn’t get a free toaster the first time I kissed a boy. I don’t have a Costco lifetime membership because I’m gay. Where’s the incentive? Oh that’s right… the incentive is I get to be treated like I’m less than human, I get to have my home vandalized and burned to the ground, I get to have a childhood/young adulthood filled with emotional trauma that lead to my suicide. I've gotten recruitment pitches from Catholics, republicans, democrats, Jehovah's Witnesses, and the army; but never from gay people. These people who are so terribly afraid of us just can’t wrap their head around the fact that me being gay isn’t just about sex! Me being gay is about how my brain is wired. The typical straight guy past puberty is going to be excited by boobs. I’m just not. All the boobs in the world aren’t going to get me excited I’m sorry! But seeing a handsome man? Maybe with some nice abs and biceps? Yea that will make me smile. But it goes deeper than that. I cannot form a romantic emotional bond with a female. I am simply not designed to do that. I can’t fall in love with a girl. Those religious right wing nut jobs will tell you otherwise but they aren’t me. They don’t feel what I feel. Only I know how I feel. Only I have the right to speak on what is and isn’t about me.
When I was a young teen I noticed boys much the same way the young teen girls did. I also knew I wasn’t like other guys who were noticing girls at that age. I didn’t make a point of announcing it to anyone but because I was quiet and not into “cool” things I got bullied and called gay and homo and what not. It wasn’t until I was 16 when I had a discussion with a friend of my god mother’s and he asked me “So when did you know you were gay?” did I realize that was what I was. My reply to him incidentally was “Uh… just recently actually”. Recently as in that very moment! And as I explored this strange new world I found friends like myself, people who went through what I was going through. Not once did I ever see anything remotely resembling “recruitment”. At 17 I came out in my senior year of High School. I rode the high of empowerment I had because the bullies’ words didn’t hurt me anymore. When someone called me a “fag” I replied “Yea? And?”. I embraced who I was instead of hiding it or being ashamed of it. I became a healthier person because of it. If other gay kids weren’t harassed for being who they are then maybe they’d stop killing themselves in a desperate attempt to escape the horror they are going through every day at the hands of the so-called “good family value instilling religious nut jobs.”
So in closing, the only choice I ever had, that any gay person ever has, is whether or not to be honest with myself and those around me. My mother always taught me that honesty was the best policy. What do you know Mom was right again! If any of you reading this ever had any confusion or doubt over this issue take it from me a genuine homo, there’s no recruitment, there’s no incentive, and I guarantee you that if they ever determine the exact biological causes of homosexuality, the right wing nut jobs will be scrambling to find a way to “fix” us and change us to make us like them. But you know what? I don’t want to be like them. To me they are a sickness, a disease, the very cause of ruin in our nation. Not because they are straight, I have tons of really awesome straight friends, but because they are so filled with hate for anyone who doesn’t conform to what THEY think is the right way to be. I hope any of you who read this will never be like those people. You don’t have to like me or what I do… but please respect me as a fellow human being and respect my right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. My only choice is whether or not to lie to you. I choose to tell you the truth.
No comments:
Post a Comment